Creek Family/Transcript
Before the revolving line of credit Announcer:Tonight on Supernanny Kerri: Fuck you motherfucker! gives Jo the middle finger Announcer: Jo meets a family with three extremely bad children ''' Aiden: Let's go fuck Anna and Alexi real good! Jonas: Agreed! '''Announcer: They even shoplift! comes home with a Barney doll Declan: I'm calling the police. Announcer: And the 11-year old, who has been expelled from school, has the chubby hero obsession. Josie: No Tarzan! Please! Put the jungle stuff out of our house. Declan: But, it's my favorite Disney movie. Josie: I don't care, Dad. Submission reel Jo: Let's take a look and see what family this week. Tessa: Hello, we're the Creek family. I'm Tessa, I'm 38. Declan: And I'm Declan, I'm 40. Tessa:We have 10 children named Jessica,Lola,Anna,Josie,Alexi,Samantha,Jonas,and Kerri but only Aiden,Jonas,and Kerri misbehave. Tessa: They ruin holidays... Aiden: Fucking Christmas makes shit look good! Kerri: I agree! Tessa:Swear.... Jonas: Faggot! Tessa: And even SHOPLIFT! Jonas: Let's go shoplift! Tessa: YOU DON'T SHOPLIFT JONAS! Declan: Josie is also stubborn and has strong hatred and misandry on my favorite Disney film, Tarzan and prefers the controversial Disney character, Maui. Josie has been expelled from school. Josie: Tarzan is such a skinny Queer! We are not going to get Tarzan, it's so fucking overrated. Romance is so overrated, too Declan: Why are you being misandristic? Josie: Because princes with princesses aren't the models for girls and boys. I'm a feminist and you do what I say! Maui is better than any stupid skinny princes. He's my hero. I love obese and ugly men. Elena of Avalor is stupid, and she will never become an official Disney princess! No fucking way, queer bait! Tessa: But, Maui is ugly and controversial, Josie, you have to listen to Dad. We need to get Tarzan stuff for him. Josie: I do NOT want Tarzan, and that is final! If I can't have Maui, NOBODY CAN! I call the shots, faggot! (She runs upstairs, to her room and shuts the door.) Jo: Look at that 11-year old girl's hatred on handsome Disney princes and prefers a ugly, obese male character. That's inappropriate. Tessa: Sometimes have 10 children is very stressful. (Tessa cries and Declan comforts her.) Declan: Things will turn out in the end. (Kerri screams) (Aiden bites Jessica.) Jessica: Ow! Stop! Tessa: Samantha and Josie argue about the film they want to watch. Josie: Don't put Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast or anything romantic on any Disney films like these two! Let me watch this movie with an obese demigod, a giant crab and a lava demon. Samantha: That movie was a mistake to aim young children and it stank so badly. Where's the romance? It's my movie time! Please let me watch Cinderella! I like romance in Disney films. Snow White is my favorite, too. Josie: They are so overrated. Samantha: Stop being so misandristic. (To Tessa) Mom, Josie's forcing me to watch her movie! Tessa: Josie, you must let Samantha watch Cinderella. Josie: Like I care? Never! Declan: Let Samantha watch Cinderella, please. Samantha: So stop being such a wicked queen. Josie: UGH!! I can't take this stuff anymore! It's always romance and kissing! You make me sick! Stupid kissing and romances made me wanna throw up! (Josie storms off to her room.) Declan: Supernanny, please come and help us. We need your help to change Josie's stubbornness and misandry. We need your help, please! (Jo closes her portable DVD player.) Jo: You guys are so desperate to need my help. I'm on my way! Introduction Jo: Hi Tessa. Where's Declan? Tessa:Hi.Declan's at the grocery store.Want to meet the kids? Jo:Yes! Tessa: Kids this is Jo-Jo! Jessica:Hello Jo-Jo. I am Jessica. I am 16. Jo:Hi Jessica! walks away Lola: Hello Jo-Jo. I'm Lola. I'm 14 years old! Jo: Hello Lola! Anna: I'm Anna. I'm 12.Those kids over there are my siblings they are 11-year old Josie,10-year old Alexi,8-year old Samantha,6-year old Lilly,5-year old Jonas,and 4 year old twins Aiden and Kerri. Josie has been expelled from school. Kerri: Fuck YOU SUPERFATTY! Tessa: Don't say that,Kerri! Alexi: Hello Jo-Jo! I really want you to fix this family. Observation Jonas: ANNA IS A MOTHERFuckER! Kerri: ALEXI IS A POKEMON-LOVING Bitch! Aiden: MOMMY,DADDY,AND JO-JO ARE ALSO BitcheS! Alexi: Stop it, Kerri! Pokemon is good! Kerri: NO, POKEMON IS fucking TRASH! ESPECIALLY PIKACHU! Lilly: I hate you Aiden, Jonas, and Kerri! Just behave! Anna: I AM NOT A MOTHERFuckER! Kerri: Watch your language! Anna: Why don't you watch YOUR language! I'm gonna tell dad and he will take away your favorite toys! Kerri: WHO THE Fuck CARES! is listening to "Sit Still, Look Pretty" by Daya and then she plays "You're Welcome" by Dwayne Johnson Kerri: TURN OFF THAT TRASH! I WANT BARNEY MUSIC AND TARZAN MUSIC! Josie: I will listen to whatever music I want. Samantha: Josie, stop! Kerri: NO! ONLY BARNEY, DISNEY'S TARZAN AND ELENA OF AVALOR MUSIC! Tessa: Can you two stop fighting? Kerri: NO! UNLESS SHE STARTS PLAYING MUSIC I LIKE! Tessa: Like Elena Of Avalor and Tarzan music? Kerri: Yes! Josie: But I HATE Elena of Avalor and Tarzan, and I love Maui, the big ugly demigod cause he's better than Tarzan! MAUI ROCKS AND TARZAN ROTS, faggot!!! Samantha: For crying out loud, please! Stop being so hateful and stubborn, Josie! I love Elena of Avalor and she's a crown princess. Jessica: Kerri, can you please calm down? Kerri: NO! IF YOU MAKE ME BE GOOD I WILL KILL YOU JESSICA! You stupid filthy skank Alexi: Kerri, can you actually be good? Kerri: No. Me, Aiden, and Jonas are immune to being good. Being bad is so much fun! Anna: Damn it! You have to be good! Josie: Never! I WANT MAUI, CAUSE HE HAS A VERY BIG BUTT! Samantha: Stop it, I don't like that movie! Tarzan is better and besides, Dad loves Tarzan because it's Dad's favorite Disney movie! Josie: Maui is big and awesome and Tarzan is stupid! I don't care what you like, faggot! Jo: (shocked) Wait! What? Maui? An obese and hideous character from a Disney film? Jo: "That's innappropriate for a kids' film. It's controversial. And besides, I didn't like the film, either. Too much obese characters in kids films makes me disgusted. And an obsessed 11-year old despised Tarzan and thinking the jungle hero is skinny, but is actually slender and well-built." Jo: Whatever happened to a handsome prince for a princess? Josie: That is so fucking overrated, anyway, bitch. Parent meeting Sending the kids to school Family reunion Naughty Step House Rules A trip to the Doctor's The Creek family's worst nightmare Jo: When we were at the mall, Josie wants a controversial Maui plush." Tessa: No, we don't need a Maui doll. He makes you obese. Josie: I want Maui and I wanna be obese like him! Tessa: No. We're getting Disney's Tarzan on DVD. It's for Kerri. Josie: (now mad) Fine! If you don't get me Maui, I'll get him myself. (Josie runs to the Disney store and shoplifts a Maui plush. Tessa gasps in horror.) Josie: (imitates Maui) I'm Maui, king of the seas. Tessa: Josie That is a controversial character for little children! Put him back! We are getting Tarzan! Josie: No way, Mom! Maui's better than Tarzan. I don't care if it's controversial! Honestly, Why can't I have Maui instead of that skinny jungle hero! Tessa: Tarzan is not skinny, he is a slightly muscular, tree surfing leader of the apes. And we are getting Edgar Rice Burroughs' Tarzan of the Apes novel for your dad. Josie: Ugh! Why is it always stinking Tarzan. Tarzan, Tarzan, Tarzan! (Sighs) Fine, if I can't have Maui, nobody can. (Josie goes back to the Disney store and puts back the Maui plush.) Tessa: That's Better. Josie: Stupid ape man. Jessica reveals her struggles Naughty Corner While Jo is away '''Tessa: "When Jo is away for a while. Samantha, Declan and I went to Disney's Animal Kingdom to meet Tarzan." Samantha: I know Tarzan likes people who looks after gorillas, Dad. Tarzan was my favorite hero to me too. So Kerri can join Tarzan to be part of the jungle. (When they arrive at the Tree of Life, Children are crying. Samantha and Declan watch children crying with comforting parents going home.) Declan: I'm sorry. Tarzan can't take everybody. Tessa: "There was tragedy." (They bump in to Tessa.) Tessa: Oh, my gosh! I'm sorry, guys. Samantha: What does it say? (There was a sign "cancelled" on the Tarzan meet and greet sign.) Tessa: No Tarzan today. I'm afraid they've cancelled it. (Samantha and Declan gasp in horror, and then Samantha cries into Declan's arms.) Declan: "When we got home. Samantha mourns." Kerri: What happened? Tessa: Tarzan is gone. Josie: YAY!!!! Tarzan is history! Now I can meet Maui! Tessa: No, you will not. We'll wait til Tarzan comes back at Animal Kingdom and we're making a petition. Josie: DANG IT, MOM!! You're so motherfucking stupid! I want to meet Maui. I hate you! Honestly, you're no fun! (She storms off to her room.) Tessa: "While Josie is in her room. We made a petition to bring back Tarzan to Disney's Animal Kingdom as a permanent meet and greet character." Declan: Okay, kids. Mom and I are making a petition on the computer. So we can bring Tarzan back to Animal Kingdom as a meetable character for a goal to 50,000 signatures while you give Samantha a trip to Magic Kingdom while the petition is full. So Samantha would be happy. Josie: (opens the door) I'm not going! It's sissy stuff! End of story, you stupid bitch! Tessa: You're coming too. And you will not give us any grief about it. Josie: (sighs) Fine. But I will not have fun! I am going to be miserable! Tessa: Good. Besides, you won't spoil it for Samantha. Tessa: "So we made a petition online and we pack to Magic Kingdom instead." (At Magic Kingdom, the family went to It's A Small World, Splash Mountain, Thunder Mountain. At the Hall of Presidents, we see only 44 presidents.) Kerri: I love Barack Obama. Samantha: Me, too. Declan: I wish we have a Democratic woman for a US president. Tessa: Me, too. Josie: (not happy) Boring. I fucking hate Barack Obama because he is black!!!!!!!!! (Then Samantha and Kerri meet Elena of Avalor, Rapunzel and Cinderella at the Be Our Guest restaurant.) Kerri: Wow, look at that food. I love steak and spinach. Jonas: French onion soup. Yummy! Samantha: I love pork. Aidan: I love this casserole. Lilly: I love this potato and leak soup. Alexi: That is what I call French cuisine. I hope there's no snails. Jessica: Delicious! Josie: This place stinks. Do you hear me? S-T-I-N-K-S! And I hate French food! I hate everything! Waiter: Do you like the meal? All: Yes! Josie: Oh hell no!!! Waiter: Would you like dessert? All: Yes, please. Josie: Fuck, no!!! Samantha: Can I have Lumiere's grey stuff? Waiter: Here comes Belle. (Belle enters.) Belle: Bonjour! Kerri: Belle! Samantha: I'm so glad you've came. Belle: Are you enjoying your day? Josie: Oh, hell no! I hate it here!!! Samantha: Oh, yes! Since I saw you at the movies in 3D back in 2012. I can't wait for your movie's 30th anniversary in 2021. Belle: I know. Keep your hopes alive. Josie: (mocking Belle) "I know. Keep your hopes alive." Drop dead, lady. This is fucking pathetic. Somebody shoot me. Samantha: Can I have your autograph? Belle: Of course. Josie: (mocking belle) "Of course," (Belle signs Samantha's autograph book.) Tessa: "While Josie was not having fun, we all are." (Kerri, Jonas and Aidan go on Space Mountain. When they went on the ride, they scream excitedly at the car speeds up on the ride. They came out of Space Mountain to join the whole family.) Kerri: That was so cool! Josie: No, that was goddamn stupid! Jonas: Mickey and Minnie! Josie: Oh look, here come those two big ugly rats! Tessa: "I can't believe how happy Samantha was. We are all a happy family, making memories, sharing our dreams come true, but Josie was having none of it." (Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse arrive. Jonas, Samantha, Kerri, Alexi and Lilly hug them. Mickey and Minnie sign in Samantha's autograph book. They leave and wave goodbye. They buy Mickey Mouse ear hats for the family to wear. At night, there was The Main Street Electrical Parade, and the Happily Ever After fireworks. The Creek Family applaud and went back on the train and into the car. But Josie has none of it.) Declan: Are you okay, Josie? Oh by the way, you dropped your mouse ears. (Hands her the mouse ears hat) Josie: (screams) No! THIS IS A SPUPIDEST DAY in my motherfucking life!!!! YOU MADE A stupid motherfucking PETITION AT HOME, YOU JAM ME THIS damn CAR YOU DROVE FIFTEEN fucking MILES AWAY AND TAKE ME SOME STUPID fucking FAIRYTALE ROMANCE TRASH!! Call me when the trip's over. (the guests in the parking hear Josie swearing) '''Josie: "I hate Magic Kingdom. Where's Maui. It stinks!" Tessa: What should we do with her? Declan: Let's see what the petition has done. Declan: "When we got back home, our petition reached to 50,000 signatures. And there was a letter which arrived." Tessa: That was fast. Josie: Fuck Tarzan! Fuck gorillas! I hate gorillas! Samantha: Look, Dad! Our letter has arrived. Samantha: "So I let my Mom read it." Tessa: "Dear Samantha, Tarzan is so happy that you circulated a petition on his behalf. And we have good news for you. He's coming back to Animal Kingdom to meet you. Starting on Tuesday 9:00 am, he'll be staying at Disney's Animal Kingdom for good! So he'll be around tomorrow. He'll be waiting for you. Best wishes. Signed the Disney imagineers of Walt Disney World Resort in Florida." Samantha: Yes! Declan: Thank goodness! Josie: (shocked) What?! No! I can't stand this trash anymore! Bullshit! Bullshit! Fucking bullshit! (She snatches up the letter and rips it into pieces) (Josie runs up to her room.) Tessa: Josie! Get down here, please? Josie: NO! Leave me alone! Tessa: Josie? Come on. Josie: Its not fair! NOT fucking FAIR!! YOU ALL BETRAYED ME! Leave me alone! Tessa: That's it. Naughty corner, now. Josie: Ugh! Fuck you, assholes (he storms to the naughty corner.) Tessa: I don't accept this behavior of yours. Josie: Walt Disney World is for stupid and retarded kids like Samantha. (Cries) I hate it. I hate everything, faggot! Tessa: It's our choice for Samantha. Josie: I don't care, I hate it! I just wanna fucking die so I never see your face! Tessa: That's not very nice. You are staying here before bedtime. (Josie cries quietly and throws Declan's Tarzan of the Apes book at Samantha. Samantha cries in pain.) Tessa: (to Josie) Don't throw Declan's book at Samantha. Look what you've done to her. Josie: Shut up, mom! Fuck you Declan! Jo: "Look at Josie's behavior. It's appalling." (Josie hits Samantha and hits Tessa) DVD meeting Trash Talk Aiden,Kerri,and Jonas' new leaves Time for Jo to go Jo: "I'm so glad Josie began to like handsome princes and Tarzan, and was recovered from stubbornness and misandry. Josie is now very kind to handsome boy." Josie: Let's go back to Magic Kingdom again. Because it's bringing my memories back and I l love Elena of Avalor, she's strong. I will have so much fun with the whole family. Samantha: Can I meet Tarzan at Animal Kingdom first? Josie: Of course we can. And you know what? Mom was right; Maui was obnoxious and he's awful for a Disney character. So we'll never speak of him or that movie again. Alexi: Thank you, Jo! Kerri: Bye bye Jo! Samantha: We'll miss you! Jonas: I like Jo! I'm gonna miss her. Lola: Bye, Jo. Jessica: Goodbye, Jo. Aidan: Bye bye, Jo. Don't stay away too long. Josie: Thank you, Jo. Lilly: See ya, Jo. Alexi: Bye, Jo. Jo: Goodbye, everyone. I'll see you soon. (The Creek family waved goodbye.) Anna: We'll miss you. Family update Category:Transcripts Category:Episode transcripts